Attack of the Not So Killer Seagulls!
by BabyCharmander
Summary: When Luffy and Usopp steal some cookies from Sanji's kitchen, it attracts some rather annoying birds...


Hiya folks:D This's BC here with my first One Piece fic EVAR. And because it's my OP fic, it'd be AWESOMEGREAT if you guys could BOMBARD me with concrit. oo; I don't like to make mistakes. I already had one of my friends look over it before I posted it, though, so there shouldn't be too many errors…

This is based somewhat off of the many bad experiences I've had with seagulls, murhur.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. ;~; Sad, isn't it?

Now, on with the fic!

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As the _Going Merry _sailed away from yet another island in the Grand Line, Luffy and Usopp took the chance to swipe a few snacks from Sanji's kitchen, as the love-cook was too busy following Nami's orders to notice. The two had stolen a few dozen sugar cookies, which were apparently supposed to be for Nami and Robin. This theory was supported by the fact that several of the cookies were heart-shaped.

They sneaked to the other side of the ship where the chef wasn't likely to notice them. The only other crew members there were Zoro, who was sound asleep, and Robin, who was reading a book.

"Sanji's gonna' be mad when he finds out we stole these," Luffy said after gulping down a few cookies.

"He'll never suspect me, though," Usopp stated, waving his arm out dramatically. "The Great Captain Usopp couldn't possibly have stolen anything, for he was too busy battling a hundred fierce, man-eating—"

The cookie that he had been holding suddenly disappeared as a grey streak zoomed by.

"…seagulls?"

The two boys looked up to see a seagull perch on top of one of the trees in Nami's orchard, munching happily on the cookie that Usopp had been holding.

"Stupid birds," the sharpshooter mumbled as he reached over to grab another cookie. Before he could do this, however, a sharp beak snapped onto his hand. "OUCH!" He drew his hand back quickly, turning to look at what had bit him.

Another seagull screeched angrily at Usopp before picking up a cookie and perching on another tree.

"What's with these weird birds?" Luffy questioned as a few more seagulls landed nearby.

"The seagulls around this island are very bold," came Robin's voice. The archeologist looked up from her book and stretched out one of her arms from the wall behind her. A seagull perched on the arm, cawing noisily. "They've become so used to humans that they have no trouble at all stealing food right out of their hands." She sprouted another arm onto the deck to pick up a cookie, and allowed a seagull to snatch it out of her hand as an example.

"Ah, I see!" Luffy exclaimed. "They're mystery birds!"

"This… could be a problem," Usopp said with a gulp. Several more seagulls had taken residence on the ship, and a few of them were perched atop Zoro's head. One of them even tried to land on the sharpshooter's nose, but he managed to shoo it away.

"Hey, it likes you!" Luffy snickered. His laughter soon faded, however, when a bird swiped the cookie that he had been holding. "_Hey!_" he yelled, pulling his fist back. "Gomu Gomu no… _Pistol!_"

The captain's fist shot forward and slammed into the bird, causing it to drop the cookie and crash into the water. A few more seagulls swooped towards the falling snack, fighting over it.

"Sanji-kun!" Nami called out from her room on the other side of the boat. "Tell everyone to be quite while I'm making these maps!"

"Haiii, Nami-san~!"

Sanji headed over to the other side of the ship, glancing down at Usopp and Luffy with his visible eye. "Oi, what's going on here? Nami-san's trying to get some work done." He kicked lightly at a few seagulls that were in his way, but the birds fluttered back moments later. "Why the h*** are all these birds—"

The cook froze when he spotted three of the seagulls fighting over a heart-shaped cookie.

"_You two were raiding the kitchen again!_" he roared, now glaring at the two boys.

"Y-you've got it all wrong, Sanji!" Usopp protested, holding up his hands. "All these seagulls came out of nowhere and stole the cookies from the kitchen, and we were just trying to get them back!"

"Is that true, Luffy?" Sanji growled as he glanced over at his captain.

"Nope. We stole 'em," Luffy replied simply, shoving half a cookie into his mouth.

"YOU IDIOT!" Usopp burst out.

The two boys suddenly crashed to the floor, lumps forming on their heads from two kicks from the ticked-off cook. They mumbled their apologies as the chef strode calmly over to the door of the galley.

"Oi, Chopper," he called.

There was the sound of hooves scraping against the wooden floor before Chopper poked his head through the doorway. "Hi, Sanji!" he greeted happily. He looked past the chef and gave a start when he saw the seagulls swarming the ship behind him. "_Wow! _Where'd all those seagulls come from?"

"The two idiots back there stole some food from the kitchen and it attracted a bunch of these sh***y seagulls," Sanji explained. "Think you can tell them to go away? They're bothering Nami-san."

"Um… I'll try," the reindeer said unsurely, walking into the midst of the birds and shouting at them. After a minute or so of this, he returned to Sanji with a few seagulls perched on his oversized hat. "It didn't work… They're too busy yelling at each other to listen to me."

"What're they saying, anyway?" the love-cook questioned idly.

"'Mine!'"

"Well, it's time for plan B, then."

"What's plan—"

Before Chopper could get his answer, Sanji had gone into action, kicking a few dozen seagulls across the deck. The reindeer got the idea and morphed into Heavy Point, roaring fiercely to scare off some of the birds before knocking them away with a few punches.

Usopp and Luffy joined in as well once they were able to stand up. The captain was able to send several of the seagulls flying with a Gomu Gomu no Gatling Gun, while the sharpshooter had a more creative idea.

"Eat this!" he yelled, dumping some Tabasco sauce onto a piece of a cookie he had managed to save, and shooting it with his slingshot right into the mouth of one of the seagulls. The bird began to frantically scamper around the deck, spewing fire everywhere and charring quite a few of the other birds in the process.

Robin simply sprouted a few arms onto the deck and tossed some of the seagulls overboard while she continued to read her book.

It took a while, but eventually the Straw Hats managed to get all of the seagulls off of the _Going Merry_. However, the ship wasn't exactly in pristine condition after the incident; it was covered in feathers and droppings, as well as charred marks from the fire-breathing bird.

"Finally…" Chopper gasped, reverting back to his normal form. "All of the seagulls are gone."

"The job's not done yet, though," Sanji stated, eyeing the two boys that were attempting to sneak down into the galley. "You two"—he grabbed Luffy by the collar of his shirt and Usopp by his nose—"are cleaning this up."

Usopp agreed; there was no way he would let his precious gift form Kaya stay in such a state as this.

Luffy wasn't quite so eager, however. "Sanji, I don't wanna clean up that smelly bird crap!" he whined.

"But this was _your_ fault, Luffy!" Usopp argued. "The Great Captain Usopp had _no _part in this! He was just… at the wrong place at the wrong time!"

"But I don't waaannaaa…" The captain crouched down on the ground, fiddling with one of the seagull feathers.

"You're going to, anyway." With that, Usopp grabbed Luffy by his face, which stretched out like the rubber it was as the marksman dragged him across the deck.

About an hour later, Luffy and Usopp had just finished cleaning the ship and were walking into the galley when a horrified roar sounded from the deck behind them.

An extremely ticked-off Zoro burst into the room, his usually green hair now a shade of grayish white, and his clothes covered in feathers. "_What the h*** is this?_"

"U-um, I can explain!" Usopp stammered. "See, these seagulls managed to get into the kitchen and—"

"Usopp's fault," Luffy said, jabbing a thumb at the sharpshooter before darting away.

"_HEY!_" the marksman yelled, rushing after his captain. "Wait for me!"

"_Get back here, you b!#$#$*s!_" Zoro snarled, charging after the two with a sheathed sword raised threateningly over his head.

"_Now_ look what you've done!" Usopp yelled as he caught up with Luffy.

"Look on the bright side!" Luffy turned to the sharpshooter with a wide grin. "You _did _get to battle with a hundred fierce, man-eating seagulls!"


End file.
